Looking through the wall,
Your pink orchestrator diverting you from the unpleasant voices.
But once you are aware of the day dream,
The low note from the organ blasts again.
Within a tenth of a second you are hit by a train.
Your chest shivers violently like ants scuttling along your lungs,
Leaving numbness.
Your palms and your armpits ping with sweat,
And the hairs on your limbs shoot up.
What the fuck is happening?
Has someone spiked me?
This sensation won't leave me!
Am I dying?
I am dying!
Time seems to slow down,
Everything is in slow motion.
This cannot be real!
The room is tilting back and forth.
My heart sends earthquakes up my neck,
And my skull receives the shockwaves.
What the fuck is happening?
I am stuck in this lapse of time and space.
What if I don't exist and none of this is real.
This cannot be real!
My limbs feel separate from my body.
Maybe I am about to faint.
I have to leave this bar.
I cannot bare humiliation.
What if my peers notice?
Act normal.
Try to move and appear relaxed.
My whole body is fucking numb!
I have to go.
I want to open my bowels.
What the fuck is happening.
This thought is only making this worse.
I have to go-
"Are you alright mate?"
Fuck.
"You look really pale."
They've noticed
Maybe this is my body preparing for a faint.
"Sorry, I've got to go."
I want to go where no one can see me again.
I don't know what this is,
But all I want now is
nothingness.
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