Wednesday 8 November 2017

Nothing to show - POEM #9

I'm debating on leaving this world this evening.
I'm not sure many people would notice if I did.
I'm fed up with everything,
Telling people how I feel
Makes me feel worse.
They just ask me how I feel more often.
I feel the same.
I'm 20 with nothing to show for it
But a part time job in a supermarket.
No A levels and no degree.
There are some things I take pleasure in
But they aren't enough for me anymore.
I'm scared of the nothingness tomorrow holds
And the thought that
I may never be truly happy.
I'm sorry that I'm a disappointment mum.
I'm sorry I'm not that cool dad.
I wish I didn't feel the way I feel
Or take things so deeply
But I do.
That's the way I've always been,
Sensitive.
You see colours,
I see life.
You see a blank page,
I see death.